Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Revolution at 2112 RPM

Revolution at 2112 RPM



For Tom, the guys at Occupy Colorado Springs, and everyone else:

So, if I sit here and carry on about how we can get out of this grief under which so many of us find ourselves buried by living cooperatively, and no one plays along, it's like division by zero, an operation that produces no definable solution and the thought of which is so troublesome it caused philosopher George Berkeley to suspect all mathematicians could be devil-worshipers on the side. Seriously. A new friend I met at Acacia Park yesterday asked where the little hullabaloo about banks and bailouts and revolution and such that was happening in Colorado Springs led, and was asking the general milieu of rabble-rousers where their overall revolution could be expected to go. (Hi, Tom). Some of the guys there, as one might expect, were so fed up with the obviously unsupportable state of current affairs that they were almost gleefully anticipating violence and war--civil war--right here in the U.S.A.. (Hi, Pat). I certainly can't blame anyone for thinking that way, given that I hoped fervently for exactly the same outcome from around the 3rd grade til only recently, really.

I've already mentioned my opinion of the futility of standard issue revolutions. We've tried that. It doesn't work. We've tried Monarchies, ordinary dictatorships, "working-class dictatorships", Capitalism, Communism, Socialism, Ism after Ism--none of what we've tried to do has worked, neither for the oppressed nor the oppressors. We've been dividing by zero all the while. You should look that operation in the eye some, so you know what I'm saying. It's the same as proving a negative, or trying to work out the math of the Singularity, and if you find it difficult, one glance at a graph will turn the lights on a little for you. When I was a schoolboy, I always thought it was supremely bogus to respond to any questions about division by zero, (or other imponderables, for that matter), by asserting the answers to be "undefined" just because a conventional answer might be unsatisfactory. I was a weird kid, OK? Look at the links or find something more techie, (a little help, Kathryn?), and then extrapolate the idea to the business of social revolutions and you'll find my point, or at least one "quantum" facet of it. You could have a look at a representation of the Ouroborus and get the same notion to materialize in your head, maybe.

The shit we've been doing has not worked, is not working, and will not work. The answers we're after will not derive from the operation we've been attempting to apply, no matter what.

We compete. That's just what we do. We compete against one another, against Nature, and maybe against God, though it's not by any means compulsory for you to think of it in any sort of Divine sense, or wrestle with religious aversions for the thing to work out the same, here. That's just me. The competition we've been so avid to pursue all these generations hasn't worked any better for the atheists or the religious. If we pursue yet another bloody revolution, we'll wind up bathing in another absurdly predictable vat of blood, and maybe you super-rich can stretch your inane Grand Game out for a few more years in your bunkers after some of us useless eaters are dispatched and used as semi-organic fertilizer. The snake will still have a mouthful of tail caught up in its throat, if it lives through this one.

Tom was serious about finding a solution when he came by our little protestation yesterday. Pat was just as serious about the blood, I'm afraid. I've had enough of blood, so here's what I'm doing. See what you think. (Here comes the part that might curdle Mom's blood a bit, but maybe not...maybe not.)  I have completely abandoned ordinary reality. It's never worked so well for me anyhow, and I was already kinda screwed when I came to this notion, so you are welcome to hold on to your own personal misery and think of me as just another hopeless crackpot, if you want--another useless eater. After all, I'm seriously just an 9th grade dropout and unemployed house painter with bad joints and a broken back, a tragic character out of a Steinbeck novel if you will. Except I don't feel tragic at all; I'm the happiest guy I know. No shit. [Guess what? Still true in 2014. Loring is pretty happy.]

What does it mean to have abandoned ordinary reality? There are lots of angles to that so I apologize up front for the doglegs I'll be working as I attempt to answer the question. First, I've given up looking for a "job", or the hope of ownership of anything at all, including money. That doesn't mean I've decided to laze around on someone's sofa til I die of entropic dissipation; I've been incredibly busy since this paradigm shift, with no horizon in sight, really. There are millions of people in the shape I was in over last summer, wells running dry and bankruptcy looming while the whole time work to do abounds. I've just given up the game those $game pieces$ track, like a chess player laying down his king. Those guys won. It's OK--it's only a game, after all. I was never so good at it--never really gave a damn.

Now I find myself in a brand-new and rather sketchily mapped territory where I'm the president of my own head and nothing else, a monarch of abrogation and apostasy. So when Tom asked about a plan, I had to think about it some before I could even say as much as I am right here, right now. The two biggest differences I can define between this new approach and the other are cooperation and good ol' hippie-dippie, Jesus freak style love and self-abandonment. And not just on my end, see. I don't own anything, won't own anything at least so long as I go down this path, and can't pay for anything or support myself, or anyone else. Well then. WTF?

I've always given. Always. I loved Robin Hood as a kid, and I used to do things like stashing random campfire-scented homeless dudes in the back of my room at night, in hope that Mom wouldn't discover them and put them out in the snow or, even worse, send them packing to jail. (Neither Mom nor Dad ever discovered any of them. Hi, Mom. Hey, Dad ;)). I give away food for...well that's a fine question. When asked why I spend so much of my time on things like the Colorado College Community Kitchen, the best I've been able to come up with in response is that it's just in me to do. I think it's been some sort of psychic trade-off for the ethical compromises and outright violations to which I've succumbed in my lackluster prosecution of the game of property collection, which I've always vaguely known to be a sort of theft, just like the Marxists--well, Anarchists--say. Follow me, though--the Marxists haven't show me anything not-dysfunctional, either. (Sorry, Michele, Jon).

This new thing is about giving and receiving, and about a different way of seeing the whole picture, like when one of those optical illusions with the hidden horse and rider amongst the trees suddenly becomes apparent. Nothing changes; it's just revealed--revelatory. I live at someone else's house. I bring around food for everyone to eat that I never owned. I smoke tobacco that a gracious host brought to me, and hope my phone and broadband will still be operational next week. You're welcome to pay it for me while I try to figure out how to do this with no game pieces at all. Message me; I won't be paying for it. I'm living on a prayer, as the song goes, living on Love. You can too, I swear. Quit your shitty job at Wal-Mart's haircutting kiosk and cut your neighbor's hair for free. Don't worry about game pieces. Come down to CC on Sunday and help us give away someone else's food. Have some! Bring some pizzas from your shop to the protesters. Retire your jersey if you're a big winner and forget about the conspicuous displays of wealth. We get it. You won! Yay for you! Now put a few families up in your east wing. Love them. Be tender. Let their hapless lost patriarchs  know it's unnecessary to numb the pain with whiskey, or whatever. It's OK--we won't call you a wuss, or anything.

Right now there's Revolution in the wind. I like to read kind of a lot. It seems the handiest way to find out about shit, and I've read about a lot of Revolutions. It can make my head spin. If we pursue Revolution we'll be running in circles. We'll be eating our tails. The Earth herself is done with our bullshit, and there's really not any more tail left to eat. Let's get off the turntable. We'll be dizzy for a while, but I think we can walk in a straight line if we get our bearings. Get hold of me. I've got these words for you all, for free. This is not a trade. I can paint your house, too, or build you a deck or something. If you want to give me something, or give something to my family, or give something to someone I don't know and will never meet, then maybe you get it. I won't take it as payment. I'm not in that game.

I hope this works. I've had enough tail. How 'bout you?








Saturday, September 24, 2011

Consider the Lilies


My friends are no doubt a scrappy bunch. It's no big surprise that guys like Jon and Adam and--holy shit--Skip, are pissed off and ready to burn a few barns down, so to speak. I don't think I need to look up a bunch of fancy references to convince anyone that things are dire, dire, dire. The college students I went hiking with yesterday afternoon will have to live what, like 20,0000 years to pay off the stupid shell-game debt they supposedly owe. Some guy on Adam's page was trying to convince me the whole business is thus because we never pay our bills. Bullshit. It's like this because a buncha paranoid Fascist clowns have set up a little magick trick to try and convince us  they have some legitimate claim to all the cheese. THEY DO NOT!!!

So there's a fight working alright, and I've been in it since I was a potential in my Granddad's genetic line. But I recently noticed--this is so weird--we're all fighting the wrong guy, and he is us. If we collapse our little bubble here in our little gob of the quantum foam, we're all screwed; not just us little guys. And we really do have enough guys to kick their Fascist asses on the way down. But guess what, we've all got it wrong!

Like it or not we're all in this together. We're each and every one of us as fucked up as the Devil!!! Shit he may have been the only sane one all along--but now I'm just picking at scales. Sorry. Didn't meant to. Ahem. Point is some of us are fucked up differently than others. It doesn't matter. That crackhead? Fuck-ed. The cop beating him down? Fuck-ed. Dominique Kahn-Strauss? Fuck-ed. Who else? The Pope? Me? You? Yeah, you're starting to anticipate if not grok me.

I'm a tool. Sometimes I'm also a dick and an asshole. That's another matter--I'm happy about being a tool.

A while ago I came back to Colorado from a trip back to Cleveland for the great John Covert's 95th birthday party. The moment I returned to my adopted home town, every television set in the danged known Universe began to trumpet the imminent falling of the sky, talking heads of every political stripe and linguistic camp bewailing the unavoidable  collapse of the American dollar and the entire foundation of all civilization along with it. I found myself with time on my hands, so I started tinkering with this blog as nothing more than an outlet for some frustrations, and a place to sling a bit of my ordinary schtick, mainly just at myself, assuming I'd be the only one reading. I played around on Facebook a little meaning nothing more than to hunt down a few friends from the distant past. That's what FB is for, right? A series of rapidly developing events took place and I soon found myself in the position I mean to describe right now, as best as I am able.

I guess I can't recall the first moment I was told I could write. It hasn't really mattered til recently--everyone knows writing is one of those career choices pursued by quixotic artsy-fartsy types that were willing to sacrifice creature comforts on the off chance someone might give a shit, and that the big bucks might roll in, easy-pleasy. Like hitting the lottery or breaking into the billboard charts with your high-school garage band, right? Besides, writers as a breed must, by necessity, possess a form of self-deluded arrogance that they have things to say of such verity and import that people will be compelled to actually pay money to subject themselves to the grief of listening to the blather produced in the effort to be a big deal. It was never like that. I just wanted something to fill the time that wouldn't dissolve my brains like the all to comfortable slide into awareness of regularly scheduled TV programming was beginning to do.

Somewhere in the midst of Facebooking about how we need a new econo-political paradigm it became apparent that bitching about this need had long been a habit of mine, as well as of many of my friends. I've always been a pretty good bitcher, too, in fact, when I entered the foundationless world of a self-employed remodeler it was a sense of the futility of bellyaching about how paint companies were managed. My brother and I had enough faith in our pooled abilities to believe we could do things better than the people running outfits for which we had worked to strike under our own banner. The key words in this were and remain "faith" and "believe".

So it occurred to me that if I really believe my own drivel, I ought to live it out.

Well that was an eye-opener. Very little pursuit of that idea led me to examine just what I actually believe, which turns out to be quite a bit, and quite at odds with the established order of things. I started, as is my wont, to contemplate God, and the deeper nature of things. I thought about how this transposes to something manageable in this "real" world. We have to work at a job, right? We have to round up bacon we can trade for goods, services, support for our children, and so on. But wait a minute--20 years of self-employment, and I was broke, money-wise, and most of my relationships were broke in some sense as well, though in most instances I couldn't tell how, or how to fix it. Seemed the thing I was best at doing was bitching. Where's the fun in that?

But I do believe in God, right, even though I've managed to get myself thrown out of both Christian churches and sorta like devil-worshiping occult groups because my notions of God are...unconventional. Enough so I'm usually inclined to put quotation marks around "God" when I type the word, and to feel compelled to issue tedious disclaimers about how I differ from the general milieu of thinkers on the matter.

An experiment in ontological ideoplasticity.

This whole thing is about stuff I believe. I'm kinda stuck at that level, since there's not much I know. Some of what I believe has to do with what other folks believe, so I'll be pretty much doing what a lot of other folks do, in a lot of ways. In some

Whoa!!! Blah Blah F-ing Blah.

Mt 6

 25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
 26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
 27Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
 28And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
 29And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

My apologies to any devil-worshiping freaks I may have just offended. You're wrong, anyhow--that's for another moment. Point is--and I'm no ordinary Christian--this is stuff we all learned from the cradle. I'll be using Christian doctrinal talking points throughout this whole conversation because that's where I learned this shit. It's also where I learned it was all crap.

I've had a real hard time with this one, cause by now I can usually say, "The point is...." Right now I still can't do that. The whole collection of thoughts in my head begins to ooze its way into the point when I come at it this way. Bear with a little, OK?

Christians say they believe the book that stuff up the page a little came from is the sacrosanct Word of God, equated with the Logos--God on paper, if you will. With apologies to those real Christian human beings in the world, Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit!!!!! If you shitheels really believed one word of the shit in that book, this conversation would be intrinsically inconceivable. See that at the end of that last sentence? PERIOD.

On the other hand, I believe the Bible to be a beautiful collection of fine literature, some of which may be divinely inspired. We have all these cultural heroes, like Gandhi whom I linked to on FB earlier, Jesus, John Lennon ferchristsake. We pay a bunch of lip service out to them then grab a beer and flick on some stupid nonsense on TV, or punch a child, or throw rocks at a cop, or bust a protester. Fuck that, I decided I believe it. Whatever it is.

You may have noticed me carrying on about a new paradigm, money's a bad metaphor, we're all in this together, &c., &c. All that is real, real important to what this is about, but OMG kids! This was a bitch to get off. I'll be hanging flesh on it all as I go, but be patient. what ended up here just now was way different than what I'd meant to do. A writer has to possess a pretty ridiculous quantity of arrogance in the first place, just to have the motivation to sit here pouring all of it out. I mean, I think this tripe I'm typing is valuable enough, and that you all will want to see it--need to see it--to occupy me at 3:30 in the fucking morning. Even worse, here and round about, (get wit' me on Facebook, if you came from somewhere else), I'll be arguing with Hegel, Gandhi, Paul the fuckin' Apostle. Can you believe it? Whatever, I believe the finer points from all those guys. I'll explain everything.

This hasn't been the clarification I'd promised to put up, but it defines some of the questions, I guess. You can have it.

Now don't forget. A little review: It's All Bullshit!!!



Thursday, September 15, 2011

Willie and Waylon and Some Other Guy: A story about weed, marriage, and Texas tall tales. Part I

Willie and Waylon and Some Other Guy: A story about weed, marriage, and Texas tall tales. Part I

                I like telling the story of the time we went to Telluride with my brother David to catch the Bluegrass Festival there. Dave is a pretty dang famous fiddler, and this happened 13 or 14 years ago when his Freight Hoppers were riding a crest, having two then current Billboard Top 10 Americana list releases on Rounder Records, (Rounder is pretty much a ripoff for them, but that’s for another time).  The Freight Hoppers were hot in Colorado, and their set would draw some 30, 000 festival-goers, with a respectable bevy of hairy Deadheads looking for an outlet following Jerry’s departure bouncing, flouncing and working their little Tai Chi dance up at the stage. Lots of really notable musicians liked The Hoppers, too, and still do, actually.
                Anyhow, we would meet up with Dave and the band at the festivals after winding through a long cattle-line setup to get to the will-call desk and pick up our magic-rainbow all-access wristbands and hang out all weekend with all these niche-famous musicians, eating, drinking, being merry, smoking, and playing music together. That shit is great!
                So one day we’re back stage chillin’ with Tony Furtado, (hi Tony—rock on!), and someone goes, “Is that Johnny Cash?” and sure enough, The Highwaymen had showed up to play an unscheduled set. We never made it away from whatever we were doing at the time to see them play, but not long later, as if they had come for no other purpose, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson show up looking for my brother to tell him how much they dig his music. How cool is that!? Well, we all got to jawin’, and knowing a little about Willie I pulled a little fairly decent weed out of my pocket  and offered it, but Willie said, “Oh, no thanks, son, put that away,” and busted out some G13 mutant weed or something, and sparked the stoniest joint I’ve ever smoked in my life, to this very day. What a day!
                Now, Willie has always been a hero of mine. His heroes have always been cowboys, he says; mine have always been outlaws, and I always figured Willie for a true outlaw, to the core. I mean the guy runs for president on a platform built of pot smoke, with Ani DiFranco as his running mate. Go Willie! That’s why some things he’s said lately trouble me. I’ll get to that in a minute but the first order of business here is to retell that story one more time, (not that I won’t tell it again—it’s a great staple of mine at parties and such), and to let you in on a secret: It’s all bullshit! It never happened!
                ***
                I am a teller of tall tales, a spinner of yarns, a slinger of bool-shyte. That’s what I do. I’m gonna do some now, here; it’s my schtick, and folks who know me will instantly recognize some of the regular phraseology of my everyday standup, right here on the page. Hi Tim! Hi kids! Hi Willie! Some will recognize little inside tidbits and feel special. They’ll pick out my little eddies and anticipate how I circle back around myself. Hell, if you’re reading you might just as well go ahead and start feeling all conspiratorial and special right now. I mean, this is certainly not USA Today. You can pretty much count on being in an exclusive number by this count.
                So if this is a bit of improv by a bullshit artist, how do you know this isn’t all bullshit right now? I’ll let you in on another secret: it is! That’s right—it’s the Lying Cretin. Everything I say is a lie. The Lie is truer than the Truth. Willie and I will be burning one in Austin when I make it down that way in a few months and we’ll laaaugh and laugh about this whole thing, because he gets it, you know:

                This statement does not belong in the set of all true statements.

               Wrap your head around that a spell. It can’t be done. And no side-winding tap-dance involving imaginary words like "pseudo-statement" allowed, either. This is True Lies. It’s a breakdown in reason, a blind spot in our panoramic window to Reality like that thing with the dots you learned in elementary school. You can not manipulate the notions here to fit your mind, though you may, just maybe, be able to manipulate your mind to fit the notions. OK, so I’ll admit we can’t prove the magick here, and maybe someday some mathematician will build a technical ladder up and out of Gödel’s pit, but, we can’t prove a negative, right? But let’s see ya prove that. And now follow it back to the beginning of this paragraph, the beginning of this rant, the beginning of everything you’ve ever read, heard, saw, sensed felt.
               
And, lo and behold, you find yourself  “poised on the wave of explicit Presence, the clockless Nowever.”
               
But don’t forget what kinda bullshit you’re reading.

(Don't miss Part 2)!

http://hermetic.com/bey/